Subject: Internet Junkie

Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet?
Have your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure
to your computer monitor?  How do you know if you're addicted to
the Net and losing touch with reality?  Take the Net Addict's
Reality Test.

Answer the following multiple choice questions and check out your
score to see if you should be concerned:


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1.  What do you think are good names for children?
       a) Scott and Jenny.
       b) Bill Gates IV.
       c) Mozilla and Dotcom.
       d) www.scott.kid and www.jenny.kid

2.  What's a telephone?
       a) A thing with a round dial you use to talk to others.
       b) A telecommunications device with 12 keys.
       c) That big thing you plug into a modem.
       d) A what?

3.  Which punctuation is most correct?
       a) I had a wonderful day!
       b) I had a **wonderful** day!!!
       c) I had a wonderful day! :-)
       d) <b>I had a <i>wonderful</i> day!</b><p>

4.  You spontaneously wake up at 4:00 a.m. and decide to:
       a) Visit the washroom.
       b) Raid the fridge.
       c) Check your E-mail.
       d) See who's on IRC.

5.  What are RAM and ROM?
       a) A male sheep and a city in Italy.
       b) Hulking stars of the WWF.
       c) I need more of the former and should upgrade the latter.
       d) I have a sign that says "Will work for RAM."

6.  To avoid a virus you should:
       a) Stay away from people who sneeze and cough.
       b) Stay away from the Internet because 10,000,000 people get
          a virus every day just from logging on.
       c) Never read E-mails titled "Good Times".
       d) Use virus scanning software every time you boot up.

7.  When you want to buy something hard-to-find you:
       a) Ask friends where to purchase it.
       b) Check out the Yellow Pages.
       c) Go to Yahoo!
       d) Go to Yahoo!  Hit "Random Link".

8.  When you don't understand how to use a new appliance you:
       a) Read the manual.
       b) Call the retailer.
       c) Call the manufacturer's toll-free number.
       d) Visit the manufacturer's Web site and look for the FAQ.
          and/or software upgrade.

9.  When you want to socialize you:
       a) Visit a club on a Saturday night.
       b) Turn on the TV and tune in to Baywatch.
       c) Check out the alt.binary newsgroups.
       d) Go to irc.dal.net and join #flirtroom

10. How do you introduce yourself at a party?
       a) Hi, I'm Jane!
       b) Hi, I'm a Taurus on the cusp.
       c) So, how 'bout those AOL busy signals?
       d) Hi, I'm a 5'10" hot blonde with a super bod from CA.

11. When you're interested in someone at a party you say:
       a) Tell me more about yourself.
       b) What's your sign?
       c) What's your Profile?
       d) So, what browser do you use?

12. If you really like the person, you say:
       a) Wanna go out some time?
       b) Could you tell me your phone number?
       c) What's your E-mail address?
       d) Hey, wanna chat Private?

13. When I say spam, you think:
       a) Ham in a can.
       b) Monty Python
       c) Unsolicited advertising E-mail.
       d) I mailbomb all spammers!

14. When you receive an AOL trial diskette, you say:
       a) Great!  I'll give it to my friend and get him online.
       b) Just great, yet another coaster.
       c) Great!  I'll reformat and use it for backups.
       d) Great!  I'll sign up under a fake ID and use up the 50 hours.

15. When you want to research a reference you:
       a) Go to the local library.
       b) Open up a volume of your encyclopedia.
       c) Slip Encarta in your CD-ROM drive.
       d) Go to www.altavista.digital.com.

16. When you write a letter you:
       a) Put pencil to paper.
       b) Open Microsoft Word.
       c) Open Microsoft Internet Mail.
       d) What's a letter?  Is it like E-mail?

17. Different types of text formatting include:
       a) Signature and printing.
       b) Underline and double-strike.
       c) Bold and italic.
       d) <font face="Arial" size="+2">

18. You correct errors using:
       a) A whole new piece of paper.
       b) An eraser.
       c) White-out.
       d) Backspace or delete.

19. You sign your name:
       a) John Smith.
       b) -John_Smith. (smith@inreach.com)
       c) -smith@inreach.com (John Smith)
       d) smith@inreach.com
            (Visit my homepage at http://home.inreach.com/smith!!!)
            Fax: 209-111-2222                      Voice: 209-222-3333
            *This is my Favorite Tagline*
            --John Smith

20. To keep a copy of your letter you:
       a) Write it out twice.
       b) Insert a carbon and a second sheet.
       c) Take it to a Xerox machine.
       d) Don't do anything special 'cause it gets copied to your Sent
          Items folder.

SCORING:  Give yourself zero points for each "a" response, five for
each "b", 10 for each "c", and 20 for each "d".

If you scored 300 or higher, unplug your computer and log
more hours in real life.

If you scored between 200 and 300, you're living a good mix
of the 'net and reality.

If you scored between 75 and 200, you should probably get
out onto the 'net a little more often.

If you scored under 75, it's amazing you even read this message!