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PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED

    * I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done
      already.

    * I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find
      excuses.

    * I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

    * I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the
      amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing
      them.

    * I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new
      technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my
      obligations.

    * I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of
      the amount of time given.

    * I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though
      infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.

    * If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

    * I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to
      change my mind.

    * I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or
      write the first word, when I get around to it.

    * I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater
      the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be
      done prior to beginning the greater task.

    * I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is
      wait/plan/plan.

    * I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about
      forever.

    * I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles
      (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BONUS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Philosophies to get through the day

*  If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

*  A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

*  Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

*  For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

*  He who hesitates is probably right.

*  Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

*  No one is listening until you make a mistake.

*  Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

*  The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

*  The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the
	bread.

*  The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

*  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
	research.

*  To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
	principles.

*  Two wrongs are only the beginning.

*  You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

*  The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

*  Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

*  The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

*  The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching
	train.

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