Telemarketers: Threat or Menace ? _________________________________ The limitations of Caller ID as implemented by PacBell. Our biggest disappointment with the service was that many phone calls were tagged "OUT OF AREA" rather than giving a phone number. In particular, banks of phones behind switchboards or in a Centrex are marked that way, which covers most of those pesky telemarketers that make our lives so miserable. We've found a way to work around that which others with Caller ID may also wish to use. When we get calls marked OUT OF AREA, especially at the prime telemarketer time (6-8 pm), we now answer the phone "KDNA, you're on the air!" Usually the telemarketer will be a bit befuddled, and ask for one of us by name. We will repeat that we are a radio station, that the caller is on the air, and is, in fact, the twenty-fifth caller. Here's a dialog with one telemarketer who bit real hard: Me: (seeing OUT OF AREA on Caller ID, using bouncy DJ voice) KDNA, you're on the air! Telemarketer: May I speak to Mad-uh-LEEN So...So...So-johr-NOHR? M: This is KDNA, and you are ON THE AIR! You've just won your choice of a new Ford Explorer or $25,000 in cash!!! T: I have? M: You certainly have. T: Oh my god! M: Happy? Which will it be, the Explorer or the money? T: I don't know! Let me get my supervisor! M: You don't need your supervisor, it's your prize. Are you calling us from work? T: Yes I am. (background voices) My boss says to take the money. M: The money! So you listen to KDNA while you're working? T: I didn't even know we were calling you! M: Well, where are you calling us from? T: M: My, my! I guess you can't pick us up all the way out there! So what's your name? T: Sherry. M: Sherry, tell us here on KDNA what kind of music you like. T: I'm so nervous I can't even think! Nothing like this has ever happened to me! M: Sherry, if you like the kind of music that we play here on KDNA, we'll play one just for you! T: But I wouldn't be able to hear it. Where's your radio station, anyway? M: We're broadcasting out of Silicon Valley, California, at 106.6 FM. [obviously telemarketer isn't smart enough to know FM stations don't end in even decimals.] T: This is just so great! M: Sherry, how old are you? T: I'm 20. M: And what do you do? T: I'm a business student at . M: What will you do with the money, Sherry? Start a business? T: Oh, I just don't know! M: I thought you said you were at work, Sherry. T: I am. This is to help pay for college. M: What's your job? T: I'm a telemarketer. M: You're a WHAT? T: I'm a telemarketer.. I call people up and ask them if they want to buy M: Oh, that's too bad. T: Why? M: Because we here at KDNA think telemarketers are the lowest scum on earth, and I don't think we can give this prize to a telemarketer. You folks are always interrupting people during dinner and I think that's rotten. So I don't think you should win. T: But that's not fair! M: Of course not! But hey, it's my radio show, I get to make the rules. T: But you can't do that! M: I sure can, I'm giving this prize to the next caller. Meanwhile, I suggest you quit your job. Today.